One day I went to the supermarket. It was very crowed, for it was filled with lawn gnomes who had awoken and needed to stock up on candies and other such things to keep them happy until a month or two later, when they would wake again and leave from their yards. And so there I was, surrounded by the green dressed things and getting poked accidentally [or not] by red hats. So, I hurried to the end of one of the lines with a bag of green grapes, a 1-liter bottle of soda, and waiting as the long line slowly shuffled by. When it was *finally* my turn to go, well, I was third in line really, I saw the last thing of Orange Tic Tacs. Now, I always want my breath to be nice and fresh, and those orange ones are just spiffy for that. But, since it was the last one, the sugar yearning gnome ahead of me tried to snatch it first. I was quicker, since he had stumpy lil feet, and got it first. I felt very proud of myself. But the gnome, who's name is Gregory, if you want to know, was rather annoyed at me. So the gnome put a curse on me and my small thing of candies, and said I would dread the day I saw him next. He then paid for his things and stormed off. Which was a rather odd sight because when the gnomes left, they had to sit in the children's seat of the shopping cart, and moved by pushing a stick to the floor. I shrugged and dismissed the idea of a gnome cursing me and my things, and left after I paid the flamingo at the cash register. I walked home, munching on my grapes and drinking my soda, and saw a group of my friends. I disposed of the empty grape bag in a garbage can and made my way over. And then I realized the horrid fact that my breath no doubt smelled rather odd since I mixed grapes with soda, which is always rather odd. So I opened the pack of tic tacs and let one fall into my hand, but to my horror, the lil orange thing was alive. I quickly shoved it back into the pack, shutting it and putting it in my pocket. I'd have to live with odd breath as I talked to my friends. We carried small conversation and they made no comment on my breath, but since they were all blondie things, they frightened me and I quickly took my leave. So on I went with my journey home, thinking quietly of the things in my pockets. As I walked, I accidentally bumped into a penguin. I gave my deepest apologies, but the penguin would not except. And in the most frightening British accent it looked up to me and said 'You must now take me home with you for I have no where to go, it is only fair since you pushed me into the mud!' So I just nodded and agreed, since I was in no hurry to disagree with a four-foot tall penguin on a dark street of New York. I said it could come over to my house and clean it's suit and asked him to walk aside me. He refused, though, and climbed onto my back. And so I walked, much slower and uncomfortable now, with a penguin riding piggyback on me and thinking of the things in my pocket. I walked by the beach side, which is rather unpleasant at night for many talking monkies like to litter the area and smoke cigarettes, cigars, and anything they can roll into rolling paper. The penguin seemed to recognize one of the monkies, and quickly hopped off my back to see if there was anything good left over this late in the night. Once I realized the penguin was gone I quickly started to run off, but the penguin yelled and all of the monkies attacked me, knocking me into a large muddy pile. And so there I was. Tied to a tree as a penguin instructed dozens of monkies to kick me in the shins. After they all had their turn and I was horridly tired, they untied me. The penguin told me to kneel so he could return to my back, but I quickly put my hand in my pocket and opened the tic tacs, tossing them all to the ground and quickly shouting 'Oranges, attack the monkies!' and hopping dearly they would listen. And that they did, and the monkies quickly ran off, pulling the penguin with them. And so there I was. With one tic tac who had stayed, every other living thing having run off. I sit on the floor and picked up the tic tac, looking at her quietly. She told me that I should run away from home and join the circus. I told her that I could not do this because, unfortunately, there was no circus in town this month. She cursed and kicked and had a small fit on my palm, but she calmed in a second or so. She thought, sitting on my hand in an odd way, and then suggested that I start killing people. I stared at her and said I couldn't do that. She said it was easy, and if anyone got mad, to just tell them that the Orange Tic Tac told me to do it. I shook my head and told her they'd call me crazy, but she bit my thumb. Tic tacs have very sharp teeth, you know, and they have jaws like pit bulls. I screamed and screamed and she finally let go, asking me if I would do as she wished. I told her I would kill if she wished so much, and I ate her. And so there I was. Thirty-nine orange tic tacs quickly reappearing around me, with me holding the small feet and arms and hat of their leader. Her name was Stephanie, if you want to know. All thirty-nine tic tacs stared at me, forming a tiny half circle in front of me. And they cried in their tiny voices together and as loud as they could - 'Where has Stephanie gone? What did you do to Stephanie?' And I put her remains down in front of them and they all hurried over to see. And there I was, with thirty nine expressionless orange tic tacs staring at the leftovers of their leader. Then, without any warning, I heard the faint cry ' Yay Sierra, the Wicked Stephanie is dead! Yay Sierra, the Wicked Stephanie is dead! '
