*A Path Down A Long Road*
Written to Lauren...






The Past Year...

A year ago. You guys thought I was dead. Hehe. No one heard from me. I didn't go to public school anymore. No one knew where I was at. I just started going out with my boyfriend. Stayed mostly at home and was very anti social and depressed. I remember the day you called.."Hello" "Hello, your not dead." Hehe. We started hanging out. You, Ellen, and I started going places together. The mall, Dennys, etc. Then it started to be just you and I. We went everywhere. Met lots of people. You introduced me to some great people. People that would later be a huge part in my life. People used to think we would never go anywhere without each other. Hehe. We always went downtown or to someone's house, usually Brian's, and to the mall, or to my house. I was starting to get social. Having fun. Getting over problems in my life. Things were going great. I was finally alive when I met you guys. I had friends, true friends. But then a lot of stuff started to happen. Boyfriend problems with me, you and I starting to drift apart. We both started to hang with different groups. And then one day, we just lost contact. And then later on, started talking again. Then got into an argument and stopped talking again. Just recently you and I started talking. And I am so happy because of this...(see below)


Journey To Happiness...

When you and I were friends, I had the greatest time. I was not shy to go places. Not shy to meet new people. I could dress the way I wanted to dress and not be out of place. You gave me confidence, pride, and an inner beauty. You were always there when I had boyfriend problems and was broken up with. And you were there when I decided to date him again, and you did not judge my choice in getting involved in that again. I could talk to you about anything and you would understand. Whenever we were out in town, I had fun. I felt like I could do anything. Even though we both have fucked the other over, even though we both have backstabbed each other at least once in our lives, I still miss you and care for you. Even though some of the things you do, I do not like. And some of the things I do, you may not like, but that is usually how it is. We will always find something wrong with each other, but that’s okay. That is reality. That is what is real. Our times together brought me happiness, tears, and madness, but at least our times together were real. Emotions are something everyone has, and there will be times that we will express them too much, or even too little. But no matter what, I know we will always be there for each other in some way. And the last time we saw each other, I know it didn't go well. The whole "mall" thing and me thinking you were trying to take my bf at the time. And if you were, that doesn't matter. And even if you were flirting with him, that still doesn't matter. Because I've learnt something. Friends may fuck up now and then, and may be a total bitch one minute, but they will always be there for you in the end, and most of the time boyfriends won't. And I should know, because as you know, him and I broke up. What happens now?? (see below)


The End And The New Beginning.

As of now, I can't wait till you come up for Halloween. We will have some good times :):) And even though you are now living in North Carolina, I still plan to stay in contact with you and see you whenever you come up to visit. I hope we settled this before you left to go down there, but we were both bitches and couldn't stop arguing for anything. But hopefully we have learnt our lessons and start over. I know we both have said awful things about each other, that is all in the past. And I want to start over. I am sorry, and I know you are too.....

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