Inane Ramblings



No officer, I swear we weren't speeding.

Random Haiku

The pigs are flying.
Where do my pants sleep at night?
Ah, there is my fish.



Random Ramblings and Ideas


- Smile trees are made of paper -

- Instant water, what do you add -

- Like Ex-Lax, we make you regular -

- Vlad, the Tasteless Anti-Christ -

- Chloe the One-legged Whore -

- Damn these infernal folicles -

- *BELCH* When did I eat tuna...ohhh yeah -

- Viagra increases cattle production -

- 210 mechanical pencils on a rampage -

- 80's music is the fabric of humanity -

- Whose idea was it to put sugar on lemon drops? -

- Whose idea was third lunch? -

- Tell a feminazi "Tori sucks" and wear in your new shoes -

- At 9:25 a.m. on 5th period exam day everyone scream "Fish are Sticky" -

- On May 18th everyone wear one pink sock -

- She's wearing chrome lipstick...oh wait that's my trailer hitch -

- Morals are a chemical imbalance -

- We're all boon doggles -

- Onamatopeia is a cool word -

- The wages of sin are eternal damnation. The hours are pretty good though.


10 Reasons why "The Crow" is better than "The Crow: City of Angels"


1. Brandon Lee is god.
2. Brandon doesn't have a trashy french accent.
3. Why walk through a building when you can climb it.
4. It's just bad taste to kill a guy while he's jerking off.
5. A lot of yellow does not make a good dark movie.
6. A man's love for his son can in no way compare to his love for a woman.
7. Spirituality can only go so far.
8. Brandon Lee is god.
9. Brandon actually died.
10. Bush does not belong on any soundtrack.


HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN?


Multiple Murderer

This man was seen killing millions of people everywhere. His weapon: His ugly face. Yes that's right, I said, "His ugly face." He was last seen in south Florida but somehow manages to evade police. This man has already killed the entire state of Kentucky, most parts of Alabama, and all but three people in Texas. If you see this man, you're dead.


Things about as exciting as the "Howard The Duck" soundtrack


- Watching your bathroom form a civilization -
- Trying to find modern metaphors in Titanic -
- Trying to make sense of "Lost Highway", the movie or the soundtrack -
- A duet with Micheal Bolton and Yanni -
- Listening to a jock reading an exert from "War and Peace" -
- Counting the floor tiles immediate to you and multiplying it by 2,463.59 -
- Applied Chemistry (nuff said) -
- Shaving a Chia Pet -
- Having an in-depth conversation with a Furby you've taught to say "how" -
- Finding hidden messages about Mayonnaise and dogs in "Mmmbop" -
- Listening to a Beatles song on low volume and trying to find something satanic to bitch about -
- Chronicling your life with M&Ms -
- Almost dying and seeing someone else's life -