Wednesday April 25, 2001

Ok now, this will not be as dark as the last few.. I am very happy at the moment..
That could change, but I'll enjoy the feeling for now.. I met a perfect gentleman last
night.. Only a 3 years older than me.. He's beautiful.. He didn't try to have sex with
me or anything.. And NO, there is nothing wrong with him.. He wants to take me out..
Dinner, movies, hanging out, all that sickening date stuff that I don't do.. I haven't
felt like this in years.. But, that kinda scares me.. This guy is special.. The only thing he complained about was how guys are pretty much just looking for just one night and all..
He wants more and he put into words what I want.. It seems too good to be true.. But,
being who I am, I'll find fault somewhere.. Well, that's it for now.. I pray the spirits bless
me, find favor in me, and let me be happy and truly loved.. Cheesy? Yeah.. hehe..
Buh bye...........

Raven
 


Thursday April 19, 2001

I'm sick of being dragged into drama that has nothing to do with me.. I'm sick of
being depressed.. I'm sick of ruining anything that involves me.. I'm sick of being
scared of having a relationship with anyone.. I don't want to face anything anymore..
All I want is to disappear and be done with it all.. If I had no feeling left then maybe
it could happen.. But, I'm starting to wonder how long that would be........

Raven

Wednesday April 18, 2001

"Somebody get me out of here, I'm tearing up myself." Garbage

Well, I'm falling ever so fast to that point where everything is so dark.. I don't know why
I'm feeling so horrid.. Nothing has happened to cause it.. Needless to say, who really needs
life anyway? How do people survive this kind of thing? Answers? Anyone?

Raven

Sunday April 15, 2001

"Captain Nemo went away. Left me all alone. Nemo's going home." Sarah Brightman

 
 
 
 

Black hair with blue-purple highlights.. I'm in a horrid mood today.. I'm trying to quit smoking and now I'm a
moody bitch.. I've been smoking much less and I can't stop eating now.. Maybe I'll finally gain weight.. Anyway,
I've gone off to the land of depression.. I found a picture tonight and it caught me off guard.. I started crying..
The whole thing is very confusing to me.. Next topic now, NEW SERVER!!! No more Aol.. =)
I have the cable internet so AOL is of no use to me now at all.. I've taken off all the other things
I've written here before.. Time to start fresh with the new address.. The poems remain though..
Well, I have nothing more to say..

Raven