I woke up and dragged my tired body out of bed. The jerk that I went out with last night was still lying on the floor where he fell after I knocked him on the head. Some guys can't take no for an answer. I mean, I shouldn't have to beat up a man when I really don't like him, should I?

It all started with a nice dinner at Valentino's. We had a few glasses of wine and started getting kind of silly. I joked that I hadn't had nearly enough blood lately, and he took me up on my offer. I didn't know I had made one. He seemed to think that blood was a euphemism for sex, or something. I'm not really sure he was thinking at all.

So I decided to take him home and see if he really wanted blood or if sex was on his mind. He'd been staring at my cleavage all night so I figured it was all about the sex. I didn't mind, though. I knew I could take him in a fair fight. I brought him up to my apartment and locked the door. I live in one of those ultra-modern buildings with sound-proofed walls, so I knew the neighbors wouldn't hear him scream.

Just as I thought, he started taking his pants off as soon as I closed the door. "Come one, baby, big poppa's waiting for you," he said. I couldn't help it. I started laughing. I mean, big poppa? what kind of psycho would call himself or his member something that stupid? So I bared my teeth in a sexy (to me) grin and approached. He screamed like a girl when he saw the razor sharp points headed for his flesh. I pierced the skin of his penis with no resistance, beyond his futile thrashings. The fresh, sweet blood poured into my mouth as he screamed, on and on and on.

Well, I knew I couldn't kill him and hopeto get the body back out of my apartment unnoticed, so I stopped before he was drained too far and conked him a good one over the head. He fell unconscious immediately. But what on earth am I going to do when he wakes up again? Hells, I guess I'm going to have to come up with a really good story for the cops, too, because he seems like the type to run screaming into the nearest stationhouse with a story about a female vampire. At least I have retractable fangs...