RETURN TO DARK SITES



Every evil mastermind needs a base of operation, so it's time to pick yours. Choose carefully, because you'll be spending a lot of time here laughing maniacally and plotting nefarious deeds.
Medieval Castle
One of the most popular lairs for evil-doers has always been the medieval castle. It's got atmosphere, it's desolate, and inspires terror in peasants and medieval townsfolk everywhere. You can stock your castle with all the basic amenities, including portcullis, moat, boiling oil, and gargoyle statues come to life. Many castles also commonly come with an armory for outfitting your minions, as well as a torture chamber we are sure you will find most useful. If you are an evil-doer who likes languishing upon a throne condemning innocent souls to a terrible fate, then a castle might just be the choice for you.
Giant Corporate Tower
The corporate skyscraper is another excellent base of operations, and one that is being seen with increased frequency these days. Perfect for company schemings and insider trading, this sinister abode will provide you a world within a world you can completely control. The workers can be beat down and demoralized as they toil in a honeycombed maze of cubicles, and your network of security cameras will eliminate any sense of privacy that may have once been felt. Furthermore, the sheer height of the tower can serve as an intimidation measure, as there is little more oppressive than standing beneath a structure so tall it literally bends over you. Why not choose a corporate tower today?
Underground Secret Headquarters of Doom
Perhaps what you're looking for is a gigantic underground complex housed miles beneath the earth's crust. To the untrained eye it looks nothing more than an isolated building in the middle of nowhere, but should you take the secret elevator within then all becomes horribly revealed. A diabolical lair of a demented madman, filled with doomsday machines and terrible devices. The sprawling expanse should provide ample room for the creation of your robot army, and the cryogenic tubes are useful for freezing yourself to awaken in a new and better world. Popular for their isolation from humanity as well as their 'only a madman could live here' feel, a subterranean lair is an excellent choice indeed.
Abandoned Church
Another excellent possibility for your lair is an abandoned church, preferably in a section of the city no one ever goes anymore. Besides the innate irony of such a locale, these former holy grounds can actually make quite sinister bases of operations. The entrance can be adorned with an upside-down crucifix, and further investigation can reveal blasphemous altars, secret chambers, and insane cultists trying to bring about the return of unspeakable gods. Many churches are also built upon the ruins of old pagan temples, which may possess tunnels leading to any number of lost civilizations. If heresy and sacrilege make you smile, then you may want to purchase an abandoned church today.
Fake Mountain
The fake mountain with a hollow interior is yet another site often used by evil geniuses. While on the outside it looks like any other mountain, with the flip of a switch you can transform it into a deadly fortress of doom! Where once stood rock can now stand rocket turrets, as the front opens up to reveal missile launchers and powerful artillery cannons. The central base can easily house your armies of destruction, and the whole thing folds up quite nicely when you are done playing with it. The only caveat with the fake mountain is that you should not place them in the middle of cities. They are for some reason too often noticed there.
Desert Island
Perfect for the evil-doer in need of a vacation, the desert island is an wonderful site for corporate headquarters and secret lairs. The scenic locale is ideal for greatly relieving your stress levels while at the same time providing an earthly paradise to destroy and despoil. Island natives are quite common on these, thus giving you a people to torment as well as rule over like a god. They are also quite good for the creation of mutant races, particularly if you are a mad scientist. If you've had it up to here with the hustle and bustle of city life and want something new, they you may want to consider this exotic alternative.
Amusement Park
Amusement parks are an especially fun-filled type of lair that have been treasured by supervillains for decades. The décor can easily be transformed into a carnival of horrors, with the roller coasters becoming death machines, fun houses filled with booby traps, and a hall of mirrors at the end for confronting the heroes. You can also theme the park any way you choose, creating such areas as Apocalypse Land, Evil Clown Land, or even Nightmares Made Flesh Land. The tunnel of love can become the tunnel of screams, and the ferris wheel can always be transformed into one big gatling gun. Perhaps best of all, however, it's a place you can the family, and be ensured wondrous memories that will last for years to come.
Space Station
One of the finest possibilities is not even located on this earth. That's right, a space station may be right for you, superb for plotting out your evil deeds far out of reach of any underfunded do-gooder. Space fortresses nowadays come standard with former Star Wars and SDI technology, and can be easily retrofitted with disrupter rays and cloaking fields. They also make an excellent base of operations for bringing about the destruction of the earth, particularly should you not want you yourself to be destroyed along with it. Though you may suffer from occasional alien attacks and the periodic asteroid, the space station is an excellent lair and should not be overlooked.

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Copyright © 2001 Neil Zawacki. All Right Reserved. Not to be reproduced in any form without express permission.