Let's see...My name is Angela, but on-line I'm known as Angelique (shamelessly stolen from the wonderful Occult Gothic soap opera from the '70's).I'm a 17 year old from Northeastern Ohio. I'd tell you the name of our town, but I can almost garuntee you've never heard of it. Nothing happens here. Literally. I live with my mother, who's 42 and pregnant, my little sister, who thinks she's barbie, and my new step-father, AKA the scarey guy who sleeps on the couch. I'm an animal lover; I have four cats, a turtle, and two pets, Mikey and Dennis. More about them later.
I'm a Christian Gothgurl. Sound like a contradiction of terms? Not at all. Christianity to me is knowing in my heart that there IS a God, and that Jesus Christ died on the cross to forgive me, and everyone else in the world, for all my sins. Gothic culture is an intimacy with things that are dark, and often considered taboo. Stereotypically dark clothing and make-up, death, vampires, darkwave and industrial music, poetry, art, etc. No, we're not all morbid mopey, depressed little things, we're just, in a lot of cases, more in touch with our true emotions, and less afraid to let them show. I've always been noctournal, and actually quite gothic at heart, but only recently have I switched my physical appearance to express such... My family isn't to happy, but I like it, and they'll get over it. It's actually been good for me, helped me get over a bit of my shyness. Something about shock factor, I think... When you stand out in a crowd and already have people's attention, you may as well keep it. People actually approach me to talk now, which is nice, because I don't have the guts to approach others myself... That and I just FEEL more daring, more interesting... I don't know. Maybe I'm crazy.
I believe that everyone is good at heart, you sometimes just have to look harder to see it. Just call me the Forever Optimist. That's been a bit jaded lately though, and that's really dissappointing to me. People have been working overtime to make life difficult. That's ok though. As bad as it gets, I'll always hold on to at least a bit of my opimism and innocence.
Music is the basis of my existance. I don't think I could survive without it, as it's my number one release of emotion. I go through phases of favorites. Right now I'm madly in love with Switchblade Symphony and relaxing to They Might Be Giants. My mother raised me on what I consider the classics, Tom Petty, R.E.M., Bruce Springstein, Stevie Nicks, Eric Clapton... They're all great. I was introduced more in-depth to such greats as The Doors and Queen by my best friend Athena. *hugz* All in all music is a changing thing. What I like today I may hate tomorow. It all depends on my mood and what's going on in my life. Expression. Someday I want to sing in my own band...that'd be great.
Theater is my second love, but I've been a bit discouraged by it lately. I tried out for the role of Mary in a local Christmas production that I've been involved with for four years now and got undercut by a girl a year younger than me. Life goes on, though, and she has a truely beautiful voice, so I'm almost over it. I love theater because you can be someone else for a while, completely forget about who you are and what's going on in your life...and, oh, the rush of applause... Nothing will ever top it.
I was a getting-by-by-the-skin-of-my-teeth honors student all through school. I hated homework, but aced tests, so my teachers had to pass me. I always hated getting up in the mornings, and they'd give me detentions for going in late, so eventually I just quit going when I didn't get up in time. My junior year we got a new principal who stated an attendence polocy that I had already exceeded, and I wasn't going to get credit for the year, so I dropped out. Being a year behind my class was a slap in the face I wasn't willing to take. I started working, got my GED, and wil lbe starting college in the fall, but there are still a lot of things that I wish I could have experienced. Prom, Senior-itus, Graduation with all the kids I've gone to school with for 12 years.....I missed a lot, but I really do think that in a lot of ways I'm better off. I learned a lot being out in the real world.
I want to go to school for Psychology. It was my favorite class in highschool, and it just comes naturally to me. I love trying to get into peoples heads and figure out what they're thinking, feeling, why they do the things they do. Once you get into someone's head though, it can be hard to get out. I have lifelong bonds with a lot of the people that I've talked to for periods of time. My ultimate goal is to reform Childrens' Services as we know it. I have little half brothers (my father's kids) that are literally crack babies. Both of their parents were incompitent, so they were raised for about two years through CS. They were abused physically, mentally, and emotionally by people who offered to take them into their homes and give them a better life...either that or they were people who saw them as an extra tax-deduction. I have a friend that grew up in CS being bounced from foster home to foster home where there were always drugs present and a serious lack of caring or structure or guidence. Growing up, children need all of these, and we should feel obligated to provide them.
Wow....I want names of anyone who actually took the time to read all that. I really didn't mean to ramble on for so long! I guess, as dull as my life may be at some times, I just have a hard time summing myself up in a few words....Thanks for reading. Make sure you visit the other pages on my site.
Angelique
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