Those of you in the group with an anti-Christian bias will want to delete this now, because I'm about to make you sick.
I might or might not have a physical need for blood (I've read that gammaglobulin helps allieve the symptoms of CFIDS, and that blood mixed in a copper bowl with honey and lemon juice relieves rheumatoid arthritis; since I suffer from both problems, perhaps there is a nutritional deficiency or a medical problem that ingesting blood helps. Drinking blood as a form of self medication)
Most of that really is beside the point - I feel so incomplete without blood. Not just any blood (although I do have a serious fondness for blood sausages, steak tartare, etc), I love to drink from my lovers. It isn't really a sexual thing, because it seems much more intimate and like making love than sex, and it usually doesn't arouse me per se unless my partner gets aroused and tries to make something of it. So I don't think it's a fetish. I have an SM fetish and this feels different. This is more a spiritual hunger.
I get lost in life, in the flowing pulse or love itself. My soul wants to drown itself in a river of warm, enveloping love and life. That's what it feels like when I drink. It is Communion. It is more Communion than what I took at the altar rail as a teenager, hoping that something would happen but not knowing what it was that I was waiting for.
I believe that God is in all things and in all people, and that all religious paths are correct in their own way; and I am a witch. But for now, I am also Christian. I have always seen Jesus as a big brother and a best friend, and this weekend has been trying for me because, well, you know what day it is. I hate seeing my loved ones get hurt. anyway, I have wondered if perhaps God in her infinite wisdom made me a vampire. I won't go to church, I can't stand crucifixes (like I said, I hate seeing my loved ones get hurt) and the last time I drank from a chalice was almost fifteen years ago, I think. I was taught in Sunday school that we poor human beings, weak as we are, will starve and wither without partaking regularly of God's blood. In that sense, although the priest would have washed my mouth out with soap for verbalizing it, we are all vampires. There is nothing wrong with being a vampire, because it brings us closer to God. Well, then. Since Sarah is boycotting church, Christianity in general, and the very principle behind the Passion, why not make her a vampire so that she will have the blood that she needs? Sarah has always believed that God is love, and vice versa, so make her take blood from her loved ones, and make her drown in love, so that she finally knows what peace is. Conventional methods just won't work with Sarah, she is far too stubborn and she doesn't want her mind to be confused with facts if she has already made it up.
If this is true, and I suspect it is (omniscience surely must entail sneakiness) then I am grateful. I never knew such beauty and peace as a teenager, questioning the dogmas of my church and hating every time I set foot in the very building. I am happier now - I don't give a toss about belief systems or values or dogma, I follow my own heart and do my best to be ethical (usually failing) and say the hell with organized religions and mythologies; I breathe in the night when I venture outside, and feel the wind in my hair and think, I am the night's child; and I feel alive, like I often do not in day-to-day existence. I take my donor or my fiance to bed (depending on whether I am in America or in England; thank goodness for polyamory, although these days it's strained to the breaking point, along with my heart) and I cut him open and drink my fill, and I am lost and overwhelmed and devoured even as I devour, and I know that I drink more than "just" blood. Life itself has invited me to sup, and how can I refuse? This is all I ever wanted. It is beyond ideas or thought. It is beyond even belief. It simply *is*.
Lately my donor has taken a fancy to my blood, too - like I said earlier, I really suspect he is a vampire who is just starting to wake up; he's always considered himself a werewolf and he has a lot of vampiric characteristics, and in folklore, the line between the two blurs. I am happy to be needed as well. I rarely get drained for long. Sometimes he takes a little too much energy (growing boy's appetite?) and I am draggy all day, but when he drinks blood this seldom happens, just as I seldom drain him of vitality if I drink blood directly. I guess it's more efficient.