The writings of Interas


      All work copyright 1999 by Ryan Lee Welsh.

      Stained Letter

      Sweetest Friend,
      Hey sweetheart... I received the bad news today. I was informed just about an hour ago. I heard you're dead. I've had an hour to make my decision. I'd never have known that if I hadn't looked at my watch. This last hour has felt like eternity. I'm shattered. My decision is made.

      I once told you as we held each other close, just soaking in the many warmths of True, unwavering friendship that I will never leave you. I would never ditch you. I will always be by your side. You told me the same. You said you'd never leave me, that you couldn't live without me. I don't know how I can either... I really don't. I'm not sure what I'll do without you. But I don't fucking care.

      I don't care. It's not important. I'm not mad at you. I am, however, feeling extreme sadness. I've lost you...which means I have lost myself as well. I died with you, it's just not final yet. I'm not worried about our vows to each other. I have no reason to be. The crimson markings on this paper should explain my reason. There was always a method to our madnesses... I love you. I will love you for eternity. We have NOT lost each other. (I'm going to find you right now.)

      Love eternally,
      Ryan

      Haze Days

      Hazy, damp air,
      I'm so depressed.

      Look in front of me,
      I only see the haze.

      Look back behind me,
      I only see the haze.

      Everything blurs together,
      Nothing is its unweighted self.

      Lightning flashes overhead,
      I shudder in shock.

      The thunder rolls,
      My heart pounds with anticipation.

      The icy rains fall over my face,
      Looking into the sky.

      Rain pattering,
      Muffled by the dirty snow.

      I asked for the gentle storm,
      I love the rain...

      I love the rain...
      I love the rain...

      How can this be,
      This snowy, freezing haze.

      The smell of rain sharp on my body,
      I am high...

      I am high...
      I am high...

      Bad feelings,
      washing themselves down the street.

      Close my eyes,
      Light burning through my eyes.

      I see a pink flash,
      Open my eyes.

      Just in time,
      The white turns back into dismal greys.

      When all is said and done,
      I'm left standing in the wet, frozen snow.

      I'm sorry,
      I'm just a product of the storm.

      Bound, the First Chapter

      Open my blackened eyes,
      Dark glass and chains, blood in pools at my feet,
      And in front of me, feet away, a trick mirror I despise,
      I see everyone living on the other side, no one sees me bound.

      Every day I see someone wondering about that mirror,
      Standing before it, looking into my eyes without a clue,
      And I savor her beauty from within that I sense, walking away as I fear,
      I saw her wondering, no one sees me bound.

      I sit swinging the chains attached to the wall,
      Looking down, rocking incessantly,
      Inspecting the dried blood on my hands and arms ­ someone at my clear wall...
      All I see is pain and dried scars, no one sees me bound.

      She's back, wondering with a new tactic,
      The curiosity remained strong in her after all,
      Not like the others I see, wondering like it was a mistake, as if eccentric,
      I feel her seeing a sadness, no one sees me bound.

      I pick myself to my feet, as close to the glass as I can be,
      I hold my hands up as if placing them on her hands through the glass,
      As she holds them there, trying to see through, but she can't see,
      And I can't even reach the glass, no one sees me bound.

      Tears stream down my blood stained face and a deep scream rises,
      Long and sustained, turning hoarse and failing out, and I cough the rest,
      Blood spraying glass, dripping over my lips and neck, dripping to the floor's crevices,
      Screamed away my voice again, no one sees me bound.

      She stares with a strange worry she doesn't understand, trying to pierce her reflection,
      Her image blurs in subtle vibration,
      Something inside is trying to escape vexation,
      Her curiosity turned to drive, no one sees me bound.

      She turns around on her heels,
      Abandonment sets into my eyes,
      Like lightning, hands together in a white fist, around she reels,
      Shock inside my deadened nerves, no one sees me bound.

      Glass crashes down on the cold floor, my face buried in my chained arm,
      When it clears she walks into the small, dark room and sees me holding myself in the back,
      Looking with curiosity at the stains of blood, the lashes in my flesh, she realizes my harm.
      She sees my fear, but she also sees my understanding... She sees me bound.

       

      © 1999 by Sarah Dorrance (click here to send e-mail)